Shakespeare approaches them and asks for a “small favor” - to be a vocal and encouraging audience for his actor (Richard Burbage) playing Hamlet. Crowley says, “What if we just both stayed home?” Aziraphale is affronted at the suggestion of lying to his superiors.ġ601, the Globe Theatre: Aziraphale and Crowley are watching a very sparsely attended production of Hamlet. (“I’m here spreading foment.” “What is that, some kind of porridge?”) They realize they kind of just cancel each other out.
Aziraphale is out to spread peace, and Crowley has been sent to disrupt it. He confronts the Black Knight… who turns out to be Crowley. Image courtesy of Amazon Primeĥ37 AD, Kingdom of Wessex: Aziraphale is riding for Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. “Be kind to each other,” Aziraphale responds. (Because, as a carpenter from Galilee, his travel opportunities were limited.) Crowley wonders what Jesus said that got everyone so upset. Crowley says yes and that he was “a very polite young man” and that he was the one that showed him all the kingdoms of the world. Aziraphale asks him if he ever got to meet Jesus. Aziraphale tells him “you can’t judge God’s plan because it’s –” and Crawley interrupts with, “Don’t you dare say ‘ineffable.’”ģ3 AD, Golgotha: Watching Jesus get nailed to the cross - Crawley has changed his name to Crowley. Crawley remains unconvinced, because this still involves murdering children. God isn’t mad at the Chinese, or the Native Americans, or the Australians.” And that God will introduce something new after called a “Rain Bow” as a promise to never do this again.
Aziraphale clarifies that it’s “just the locals. (“Forget my own head next!”)ģ004 BC, Mesopotamia: Watching Noah build the ark - Crawley is shocked that God is killing all the humans in a fit of rage. The Garden of Eden - God asks Aziraphale what happened to his flaming sword.
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